I Am an Alienated Parent, What Can I Do?

Understanding Parental Alienation

As discussed in our previous blog "What is Parental Alienation?", parental alienation is any behaviour by a parent with the intention to damage the child’s/children’s relationship with the other parent. It is a malicious and damaging phenomenon that impacts the alienated parent, potentially destroying their relationship with their child/children and affecting their mental health. Additionally, it can have long-term effects on children if they are exposed to such behaviour for an extended period. Parents who have found themselves on the receiving end of alienating behaviour might feel hopeless and unsure how to move forward. They might worry that they will not be believed or that their claim might not hold weight should they bring the matter to court. Thankfully, the family courts in Ontario are aware of this growing phenomenon and the detrimental effects it has on the children and wider family unit.

Court’s Response and Possible Remedies for an Alienated Parent

In instances where the court has found evidence of alienating behaviour by one parent towards another, the court has responded in the following ways:

1. Increasing Parenting Time and/or Decision-Making Responsibility: Making orders to increase parenting time and/or decision-making responsibility for the alienated parent.
2. Reconciliation Counselling: A court may order reconciliation counselling to help reunite the alienated parent with their child.
3. Consistent Judge Monitoring: Ensuring that one judge stays on the case to monitor compliance with court orders.
4. Finding the Alienating Parent in Contempt of Court: This can occur when the alienating parent decides not to follow court orders.
5. Custody Reversal: In certain cases, there might be an order for custody reversal.

This list does not encompass all the possible remedies or responses of the court to parental alienation. As more research is done on parental alienation, the law will likely continue to be modified to address these issues. However, to ensure that the court can accurately remedy the issue of parental alienation, it is of the utmost importance that parties provide the courts with evidence so the court can help them and their families as best as possible.

Tips and Tools for Gathering Evidence

Below are some helpful tips and tools an alienated parent should keep in their back pocket to help gather evidence:

1. Do Not Retaliate: Do not fight fire with fire. The alienated parent should not retaliate by exhibiting alienating behaviour as well.
2. Keep a Record of Alienating Behaviour: Keep a journal documenting dates, times, and instances in which parental alienation occurred. The journal can be as detailed as possible and include who perpetuated the alienating behaviour, phrases used, etc.
3. Make Access Requests in Writing: Document requests to see the children or schedule time with them in writing. Any negative responses or no response should also be documented.

As painful and devastating as it might be to be alienated, the above-noted tips are extremely important steps an alienated parent should take to ensure that they can access the resources and remedies available to them by the court.

Please contact us to book a consultation to learn more about parental alienation and your options.